28 April 2014
The Cruellest Month
It will be a while before we know what the Liberal backroomers did in March and April, to the nation and each other.
There was the plot, successful, against O'Farrell, the last of the North Shore Wets, and his replacement by a privatising, climate-change-denying, abortion-despising, surf-jogging, goofily smiling trainee priest.
There was the war between Abbott/Credlin and Hockey/Corman over millionaires' pregnant wives and whether to punish the old with twenty years of misery this term or next.
There was the growing derangement of Abbott, who, after suffering lavish mockery for his plan to bring back knighthoods, decided to spend a hundred million, which would have saved Holden, on scouring the South Seas for scrap metal forever.
There was the bitter backroom quarrel, still going on, over whether to expel Di Girolamo from the Liberal Party or further soil themselves, as ICAC continued, with the buckets of money he was still shovelling their way.
There was the sharp, cold realisation that Shorten was pulling ahead; and, if Morgan was right, Labor certain to win a majority of seats in Western Australia, Queensland, South Australia, Victoria and, bizarrely, Tasmania. That the vote was where it was in November 2007 and it was not going to shift under Abbott and he like O'Farrell had to be shafted, framed or forged out of office or somehow made to quit for 'medical reasons'. That those medical reasons might in fact be there, and involve, by the look of it, a form of early senility.
And then there was the difficulty of the Manus murder, and its cover-up by Morrison, and the evidence leaking out of what caused the riots in which it occurred, and how Morrison, the responsible Minister, was still concealing the names of the murderers (white, Australian, unpunished, still employed) whom he continued to pay handsome wages, thus impeding the course of justice.
And the way it was all coming to a head, with Hockey saying one thing and Abbott the other, and half a million Liberal voters, all over sixty, vanishing in a month.
And the moment approaching when the money-axing recommendations (work till you're seventy, you bastards; don't dare expect the pension if your house is valuable) would be aired, and Manus murder findings be looked at by 7.30, and the Senate begin to enquire into the Liberal Party's 'culture of criminality', and Di Girolamo facing fifteen years and beginning to grass on everybody.
And the Last Post playing, and the Royals flying out, and the dodgy fighter-bomber looping the loop, and the vote staying stubbornly where it has been for three months now, and Labor landsliding everywhere, and Palmer quickly replacing the Nationals in every latitude.
And what will happen next?