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23 March 2015
by Smelly Tongues

Double Dissolution? No! Double Barrel Shotgun? Hmmm!


ABC News Breakfast Thursday morning crosses to a live interview on ABC Radio with Finance Minister Matthias Corman.
Corman is asked straight up if he were active in alleged discussions on calling a double dissolution.

He says he was not, and then continues that the only thing he has been active in is getting on with the job of government and addressing those issues that are of real concern to the Australian people today, which is jobs and the economy, and the mess we’re in, and the previous Labor Government this and the previous Labor Government that, and so forth.

After one particularly mind-numbing stream of incoherent babble, I mutter “Jesus Christ”, hit the mute button on the remote and decide this would be a good time to go have a shower and get ready for work.

We don’t need a double dissolution.
We need a double-barreled shotgun to blow these twaddle-peddling bullshit artists into political oblivion, and start advertising in Seek for replacements.

Essential: Ability to communicate complex issues in clear, direct language to a broad spectrum of stakeholders without resort to jargon, clichés, witless one-liners repeated ad nauseum at every available opportunity in a day, PowerPoint presentations, and incomprehensible, incoherent bullshit of no substance whatsoever.

Essential: A high degree of literacy and demonstrable numeracy, coupled with the ability to speak with authority, weight and gravitas over a wide variety of often weighty subjects of national import, to be informed with intelligent argument either for or against an issue, and to be prepared with peer-reviewed facts supported by clear evidence to advance that argument.

Do you feel lethargic, irritable, worn down, fed up, chewed up, spat out, and occasionally overwhelmed by the barely restrained impulse to throw fistfuls of your own poo at the television, drop your radio off a fifty-storey balcony and slowly drive your dog insane by constantly shouting the words “bone” and “walk” at it every couple minutes?

Welcome to the ranks of The Disappointed, their numbers are legion and growing larger by the minute, by the syllable.

Have you read all those articles, the ones that detail the various ways and whys in which people have come to be disillusioned with politics as it is today? Have you read the polls, and looked at the demographics, of how this group or that group just couldn’t be bothered anymore, and don’t pay much attention, it’s no longer even about them, so why waste precious time? Have you heard our politicians, when asked of this, reply that “Yes, they need to engage more with voters, and put more effort into selling their message”, which essentially means they need to find other ways to pull a few fast ones and hope nobody’s paying too much attention? Have you read or watched or listened to the aging hipsters of yesteryear (Richard Neville comes instantly to mind) bemoan the apathy and self-absorption of today’s young folk, they’re not out on the streets anymore, waving placards, marching, standing up for their beliefs, rousing choruses of “Kumbayah” echoing through the streets of our cities, people are throwing themselves in front of bulldozers, and handing out flowers to the PIGS, MAN, like FUCK, you know, … ?

And do you, after all this, ask yourself, “Who can fucking blame them? Why the fuck would any sane human being involve themselves with this shit?”

A perfectly reasonable assessment.

Laura Tingle in AFR March 20, 2015…

“… we don’t seem to quite be able to take in the growing realisation that we actually are being governed by idiots and fools, or that this actually has real-world consequences.

We finish the week with a Prime Minister who has lost his bundle and is making policy and political calls that go beyond reckless in an increasingly panicked and desperate attempt to save himself; a government that has not just utterly lost its way but its authority; and important policy debates left either as smouldering wrecks or unprosecuted.”

And …

“It’s not just that voters don’t like Tony Abbott any more, or are angry about broken promises, they see the government as incapable of doing its job competently.

This is a particularly devastating assessment for a conservative government. The phrase the Coalition used before the last election was that voters needed to put “the adults back in charge”.”

With “adults” like these in charge, today’s young folk have sensibly decided to keep the fuck out of the way.

Today’s “young folk” are not apathetic and self-absorbed, ignorant or lazy as so many “old folk” would have us believe. With their lives before them, with hopes, dreams and ambitions, a world to live in and to experience, theirs are not hearts and minds drawn to the gas-belching swamp of contemporary Australian politics, where self-interest truly lies, where go the sad and the old, the rich and the privileged, driven by pure greed, by power alone, and by a cruel and punishing ideology which would have us all be slaves under their command, under their rule, and be thankful to them for it.

Why, you can be somewhat less than whole in either body or in mind, or both, and this government will let you work for a whole 99 cents an hour, how about that, aren’t you lucky, you lucky, lucky thing, you?

“We know that without honesty there is no trust and without trust there is no fairness and without fairness civil society cannot long survive.” (Tony Abbott, “Battlelines” 2009)

The young, the elderly, the working poor, the unemployed, the ill, the man in the far-flung rural area who has to drive three hundred miles in agonising pain to have an abscessed tooth ripped out and then three hundred miles back with a mouth full of bloody cotton swabs will not engage in a politic that regards them, that is forever telling them how wrong they all are, what a blight, a burden, an affront to economic efficacy, an affront to the ideal buffed and bronzed all-around true blue Larrikin Aussie Aryan descended from the long dead warrior heroes of Gallipoli they seem so desirous of.

This is a government whose sole purpose so far since taking office, whose central message it would seem, is to be forever telling the rest of us how completely shit we all are.

There’s nothing to engage with, or in. Nothing.

Absolutely fuck all.

When Independent Senator Nick Xenophon recently described Education Minister Christopher Pyne’s antics this week over higher education reform as “student politics”, he pretty much summed up the tenor of the entire government, a Playschool government whose host is irrevocably stupid, a clown, and whose cast members are mere “students of politics” who keep failing their exams, over and over and over, because they insist on scribbling crude penis doodles on their papers, and they keep running off to the toilet blocks with a Playboy magazine stuffed up their shirts, and a couple fags in their pockets for the afterwank.

We do realise we are being governed by “idiots and fools”, as Laura Tingle writes, and we realised it way before she or her media colleagues did. We did not ask for it. We certainly did nothing to deserve it. We wish it had not happened.

Our Prime Minister is an idiot.

We can not stoop to his level of idiocy by engaging with it. We must bide our time, and when our time comes, we must throw this mob out.

I try to avoid using phrases like “worst government ever”, but in this case, they may or may not be the worst, but they are certainly the dumbest mob of motherfuckers I’ve experienced in my lifetime.